When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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