I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
