i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
