I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
