If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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