its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Help. Why am I so naked?
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