Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
