And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
