He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
