Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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