Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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