what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
