whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You're like the curious george of whores
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Also, beer. Big fan.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
