i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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