I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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