I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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