Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
