he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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