I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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