ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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