Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
dude. I can hear the air.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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