just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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