as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
