Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
