pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
