i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
