Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
