sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
