Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
