College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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