Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
