Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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