I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
