i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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