So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
