Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
