Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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