why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Randomize
