That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dick very happy bro
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
