YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
