What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
