He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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