They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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