New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
