he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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