Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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