are you so shy because you have an std?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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