return my video game
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
