I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
