Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
