Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
