Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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